You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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