let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
