Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
