Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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