Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
