Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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