This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
