I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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