Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
