why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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