We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You are a genius and a whore.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
