i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
