You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
