He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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