I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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