btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
