weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he shaved USA in his pubs
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
