We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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