I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
