The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
