ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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