is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
