watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
