It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
