I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
