hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You've changed since you got that strap on
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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