Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
