There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
