Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
