Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
