Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
