shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
