Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
