I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
