FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
