it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
