Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
