I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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