In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
