If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
