OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
