3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
