I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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