im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Even my vagina gasped.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
