my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Bring me that man meat
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
