AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
