How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
