sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
