yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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