you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
