i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
