so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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