I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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