i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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