Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Enjoy the penises
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